


An Obi-Wan Challenge

by Siri_Wan_Kenobi



Category: Star Wars Prequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-01-15
Updated: 2016-07-05
Packaged: 2018-05-14 04:26:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 2,226
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5729476
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Siri_Wan_Kenobi/pseuds/Siri_Wan_Kenobi
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A Fun Obi-Wan Challenge written from some of the biggest Fans of Obi-Wan Kenobi.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'm not the centre mind of this challenge, I'm just the "producer". As I mentioned ealier, this is just a not-so-very-long challenge written from some of the biggest Obi-Fans!
> 
> So, I want to thank you SerendipityAEY, earlybird-obi-wan, ruth baulding, Valairy Scot, Obiwan456 and laloga. For you guys' fantastic writing. Haven't it been for you, this challenge would have never been born!

**Chapter 1**

_"Let us be fair," Obi Wan grumbled. "You got us into this mess. So you can get us back out again."_

_"What do you mean?" Anakin snapped. "It's not my fault!"_

"I only know one direction, Master!" Anakin grumped. "I get us in; you get us out."

"Well, I'm out of ideas at the moment," Obi-Wan said, the sound of his voice tight - a sure sign his patience was running short. "I've never seen such a - a -"

"Such a kriffing horde of holonet reporters," Anakin filled in. "Quick, master, in here."

"Oh, now I /know/ you're not the brains of this team," the Jedi master muttered, allowing his friend to drag him into the disreputable establishment just ahead.

"Here, hide your famous mug behind this drink." Anakin snatched up a mug and thrust it into Obi-Wan's hands. "Oh oh, bottoms up, Master."

"Isn't that your speciality, Poster Boy?" Obi-Wan snarked, smacking said bottom with one hand and smacking his lips with the other (it was a good drink).

Anakin's tart reply was cut off by a searing flash of blue light as Obi-Wan whirled, saber cleaving an intrusive holonet cam-droid in two.

"Hey!" Anakin yelped, the seat of his pants smoldering.

"Those kriffin' droids are way too nosy," Obi-Wan explained. He craned his neck behind Anakin and "oh oh'd."

"What - and get your nose away from there."

"My nose has no intention of making close acquiantance with that part of your anatomy, Padawan! But your - ah - glowing lightsabers are now exposed to the holonet."

Anakin's hand clapped to his rear. He only wore those because Padme liked to see her husband adorned in all sorts of lightsabers - the better to whit them down to one - the most functional one at that. He couldn't help the grin that spread over his face. Of course, Obi-Wan misunderstood.

And for a moment, finally, it seemed as if they were alone. "If you'd like to admit what you did to garner such attention, please don't hesitate," Obi-Wan leveled a stern look at Anakin as he turned toward him.

"Me!" Anakin exclaimed. "You were the one sneaking around with that blonde last night. Who was she?"

 

_tbc_


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter of this huuuuuge challenge. Hope you guys like it... and pleeeeeease review. And leave a kudo!!!

**Chapter 2**

Obi-Wan leveled a mastery glare at Anakin. "I did not sneak around; I do not sneak around. I, uh, was exercising caution - caution, a word you are not familiar with. Nor, it appears, is Senator Amidala."

"Hey, yousa troublemakers," the barkeep snapped crossly at the Jedi. "Get the hells outta here wit' those things!"

"What things!" both Jedi snapped in unison. "The droid - scraps - are not ours," Obi-Wan added with a bit of a sniff.

The aggravated proprietor slammed all four hands onto the polished countertop. "Take yer vaping brawl outside. Back alley. I already gotta citation this month."

"We are NOT brawling," Obi-Wan growled, as Anakin grabbed him by the collar.

"He's a mean drunk," Anakin apologized as Obi-Wan squirmed in his grasp.

"I am not - I never - " Obi-Wan spluttered, outraged. He'd never been drunk in his life. Not once. "Anakin, I had one sip. ONE."

"Yeah, well, you're a lightweight, aren't you, master?"

"And that was a _virgin_ Bombshell, I'll have you know"  
Anakin nearly choked as he steered his protesting friend through the back entrance. "That blonde?"  
"No!" Obi-Wan spluttered. "The drink, Anakin! And - oh, dear."  
They came up short, gawking at the spectacle in the "back alley."

"Is that -?" Words failed the young Jedi.

"Mace Windu wearing a blond wig - yes, it appears so." Obi-Wan rubbed his chin. "Oh dear, is it that time of month again. I told him never to bet against Yoda; I told him he would regret it."

"Is he - wearing - high heels?"

"And a purple boa around his neck, yes."

"If that's Master Windu's idea of going undercover - he sure stands out," Anakin snickered.

Obi-Wan stepped back, pursed his lips then moved next to Anakin. "So does your lighted - twinkling - undershorts. Really, what IS the Order coming to nowadays."

"It's a drinking song and there over at the 4 words they need 150 lines to reach their goal of 6000 words," Obi-Wan started.  
"Like I lost my,"  
"Lightsaber young padawan mine,"  
"Ah I see master,"  
"Your lightsaber is your,"  
"Life. I know that you

"It's the war," Anakin frowned, attempting to adjust his tabbards and tunic so Padme's secret gift to him wasn't _flashing_ everyone. "It's making everyone crazy. We should be allowed to have some fun! We should all get a day, or night, off every now and then."

Obi-Wan's expression didn't change, his mouth pulled into a tight line, a clear expression of consternation. Though in reality he was only trying not laugh at Anakin's ridiculous choice in underwear.

"And stop looking at me like that," Anakin nearly shouted, glaring at his former Master. "You're the one who was traipsing around CoCo town with - " Anakin's eyes grew wide, as his head whipped around to look down the alley at Mace, then back to Obi-Wan. "You weren't - were you with Mace?!" he asked, incredulous.

"No!" Obi-wan glared right back. "There are _many_ blondes in this city. And what were _you_ doing in CoCo Town?"

 

tbc


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

"Well, ah..." Anakin looked at the toe of his boot. "Um - wait a minute! I asked you first."

"And it's a masters prerogative to turn a question back upon a learner - look at Yoda for his teaching methods."

"HIs methods suck worse than yours."

"Oh, Anakin, how eloquent. Maybe you should take lead role in the ever-so-delicate negotiations upcoming with the grammar Nazi."

"Maybe it's time you allowed me to take the lead, oh wise-one. I - wait a minute." Anakin's eyes narrowed. "You are the master of deflection, master, but I'm wise to you. YOu know I can get the truth from Dex about your little soiree in CoCo town - or was it an assignation?"

"Dex is far too discreet to spread vile rumor," Obi-Wan brushed this threat aside like a pesky fly. "And it was a diplomatic liason."  
Anakin smirked. "The Negotiator strikes again."  
"Perhaps if you applied yourself to the study of diplomacy, you would be able to dispense with juvenile props, such as your garish under-attire."  
Affrontonted, Anakin placed hands on hips. "And what kind do _you have?"_ he threw back.  
The enigmatic smile he recieved in reply was strangely disturbing.

Well, Anakin was nothing but a man of action anyway, so he ever so casually slipped his lightsaber free and made a slight motion towards the smaller man. However, The Negotiator was no slouch in the anticipate-Anakin department. With a careful flick of his fingers, Anakin's blade turned off before even heating its destination.

"My undergarments remain undercover," Obi-Wan chided. A mischievous smile lighted up his eyes. "Assuming, of course..."

Not to be outdone, Anakin threw back his chest and threw out a shocking suggestion. "How do I know you're not wearing feminine undergarments under your cloak - you may imply you're wearing nothing but skin, but you and Mace may have been quite a team earlier tonight."

Obi-Wan merely grinned. "You will never know." With a definite _swish_ of his hips, he slinked away. Anakin had to hand it to him: Obi-Wan definitely knew how to swish, swash and swagger.

"That's it," Anakin grumbled under his breath. "I'm going to go have a talk with Dex. 'Diplomatic liason' my glow-in-the-dark a-" Anakin turned on his heel then, but distracted and disgruntled as he was, he hadn't noticed there was a man - woman - man standing right behind him, and he ran straight into a very broad chest.

"Master! Uh, I mean - "

"Anakin." Mace was completely unperturbed, not embarrassed in the slightest. "What are you doing in this district at this time of night?"

The deep timber of Mace's voice, and his serious expression combined with the illustriousness of his long blond hair, was so _odd_ Anakin found himself completely speechless. But only for a moment.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please review, and if you liked it, leave a kudo. :) More to come!


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks serendipityaey for leaving a comment. :D And thanks to those of you who left a kudo! Here's chapter four. Hope that you like it. Read, review and leave a kudo if you like it! :)

**Chapter 4**

"I think blond hair is so not your color," he snerked. "And Obi-Wan brought me, Master Windu. What brought you?"

"Drinking again," Mace crossed his arms. "I told Obi-Wan you couldn't handle a drink."

"Are you - with respect - insinuating that you are not standing before me with a blond wig and a purple boa? That I'm seeing things?"

Mace took Anakin by the shoulders and spun him around. "Hmm, I think I am seeing things. Twinkling lightsabers - calling attention to your profession or advertising your - ahem - availability on the party circuit?"

"Neither, in fact. And if Obi-Wan hadn't been drinking, I wouldn't be in this situation. Now, please, for the love of the Force, tell me you're undercover." Anakin folded his arms across his chest, not quite able to keep from smirking at the Jedi Master.

"*That* is none of your concern," Mace told him in his stern manner. "And if you'll excuse me," he said looking over Anakin's shoulder, "I see my 'contact' now."

"Fine," Anakin answered but Mace had already left. Anakin didn't bother turning around to look, he really didn't want to know. Shaking his head, he strode away in the direction of Dex's establishment.

"Neither, in fact. And if Obi-Wan hadn't been drinking, I wouldn't be in this situation. Now, please, for the love of the Force, tell me you're undercover." Anakin folded his arms across his chest, not quite able to keep from smirking at the Jedi Master.

"*That* is none of your concern," Mace told him in his stern manner.

"Master..." Anakin hissed at Obi-Wan, who (had swished and swaggered his way back and) appeared to be enjoying this interchange far too much. "Get me outta this, would you?"

The Jedi master's brows rose. "That would constitute indecent exposure, my friend."

Mace snorted softly, setting the feathers of his purple boa fluttering. "We're already there, in my opinion. Skywalker - get back to the Temple and put on some regulation chonies. Before Yoda arrives, with his gimer stick."  
Anakin clutched at his neon-spangled assets, looking a bit pale.

"And if you'll excuse me," Mace said looking over Anakin's shoulder, "I see my 'contact' now."

"Fine," Anakin answered but Mace had already left. Anakin didn't bother turning around to look, he really didn't want to know. And now Obi-Wan had disappeared, too. Shaking his head, Anakin strode away in the direction of Dex's establishment.

 

tbc...


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

Much to Anakin's surprise, he saw Padme ahead of him, walking alone and unguarded. At night! Anakin called, but Padme never slowed down. He sped up and grabbed her by an arm.

"Padme, it's not safe out. Mace is in drag and Obi-Wan is drunk and - hey - you're not Padme."

"And you're a pervert - flashing your underwear at me!"

"And I told you I am *not* drunk."

Anakin whipped around to find Obi-Wan standing behind him, blue eyes gleaming and commanding all at once. "Master! Where were you! And what the kriff are you talking about?"

"It was a *virgin* and I only had a taste."

"Ohh!" the diminutive brunette, whom both Jedi had forgotten, gasped, her expression disgusted. "Perverts! How dare you speak of a lady that way!" And her small hand lifted, to slap Obi-Wan across the face.

Out of respect, he let her.

"It wasn't a lady," he explained, rubbing his reddened cheek. "It was -"

"Ohhh!" She gasped again, cutting him off as she misunderstood once more. But this time Obi-Wan ducked.

The brown haired woman stamped her foot in anger. "I'm getting a security droid!" she shouted and she ran off.

At least Anakin was no longer 'exposed' as he was sitting on the ground, incapacitated with laughter.

"But it wasn't a lady," Obi-Wan reiterated glumly. He lifted a finger and held it before Anakin's nose, a tactic learned from Qui-Gon which had always served to shut him up. Of course, it rarely worked on Anakin. "Not a word; not one."

"C'mon, Obi-Wan - you let her deck you!"

The glance Obi-Wan skewered his apprentice with was as glacial as the ice on Hoth - and simmering beneath, the magma of Mustaphar. "I thought it impolite not to allow the young lady to vent under the circumstances. Besides," he straightened his tunic.

"Impolite to defend your honor?"

"Well, you weren't defending me. And I was hardly decked - in fact, it is you sitting on the ground; you'll get your 'lightsabers' dirty, young one. And weren't you to not say one word!"

"I didn't," Anakin protested, grinning. "I said more than one - if you, Master-of-words, had said what you really meant - "

"After all these years, Anakin, I know you chose to deliberately misunderstand me."

"Well..." Anakin spread his hands. "It's a talent, you must admit."

"Not one I encouraged," Obi-Wan growled.

"Obi-Wan?"

"What?"

"Ah, what do you want to do about the security droid homing in on you?"

"Let you destroy the thing - it's what you do best, isn't it? Unless you wish to scare it off with a display of your multiple lightsabers?"

earlybird- "Droids are for scrapping and..."

"Droid parts Anakin? No way. Last time I had to wake you I stumbled over your droidparts littering "

"Littering? I made a new droid for Master..."

"Wundu yes and he complained about it from here to Force knows where. Painting it purple and adding that bald touch was too much. Oh dear..."

"That's droidparts and more coming master. I saved your..."


End file.
